Hopnut I am. 
Two kids I have. 
Over 40 years old I am. 
Live in the UK I do.
Support Spurs I do.
Good at FIFA I am not.
Play on PS3 I do. 
Still own FIFA98 I do.
Once won a Gold Cup I did. 
At 1-1 in the final, fell asleep the other bloke did.

Pass all day I can.  Score, for toffee I can't.
One day, win Division One I shall.

Worth around 700,000c I am.

lol